Not a Girl, Not a Robot... Just Your Strap-On Janet

You made it to the Good Place…which means you're kind, generous, and officially worthy of... well, anything. Luckily for you, Janet is here. Not a girl. Not a robot. Just your fully-customizable, cosmically omniscient assistant… with a protocol for every kind of pleasure. She starts with her mouth (flawless technique, infinite enthusiasm), then offers a hyper-realistic strap-on (don’t worry…she fixed the wind chime mistake from earlier). And when you come so hard you forget your name, Janet’s ready with aftercare, cuddle protocols, and a very important post-coital quiz. Equal parts absurd and intimate, it’s like being algorithmically adored and lovingly destroyed…by someone who isn't technically real, but really wants you to come.